• “Colors”

    Colors by Kira Willey

    I am green today, I chirp with joy like a cricket song,
    I am grey today, gloomy and damp like a morning fog,
    I am orange today, loud and messy like finger paint on the wall
    I am red today, hopping mad like a playground ball
    I am black today, strong and tall a great big bear
    I am purple today, bright and happy like a butterfly in the air

    I’m a rainbow today, all the colors of the world
    I’m a rainbow today, all the colors of the world
    I’m a rainbow today, all the colors of the world are in me

    I am yellow today, I shine my light out like the sun
    I am White today, soft and quiet like new snow
    I am Blue today, calm as glass and cool like the sea

    I’m a rainbow today, all the colors of the world
    I’m a rainbow today, all the colors of the world
    I’m a rainbow today, all the colors of the world are in me
    All the colors of the world are in me.

    Link to the song (since you can’t embed it) – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ur5AYncDDE0

     
  • Reasons for Lamenting

    I rant and rail sometimes about meaningless things. The people who can’t drive; the price of gas; damage to a car. Today however I have true cause for sorrow and lament.

    There are a few things in this world that I can do; but one of the things that I can’t do is shallow. I don’t do shallow very well at all. I can’t do fake table conversation. I can’t pretend that I don’t have ideas and opinions (though I’ve been known to hold my tongue a time or two). That doesn’t mean that I can’t deal with it, I simply disconnect or remove myself from situations. When I sit down to talk to people, it is with the full intent of investing myself in them and their struggles; that I won’t settle for surface stuff. As a result I choose my friends very carefully. The people I choose to involve in my life are sparse, but they’re meaningful.

    They are good people (yes Brain, that includes you too). People who care about others and sacrifice for those around them. They are people whom I admire. I try to learn from them and in return avail every resource I have to serve in their causes. They are generous, they are thoughtful, they are people truly worth knowing.

    Today however, one of my friends is dying and I am helpless to stop it.

    I’m broken hearted; I’m pissed off and there isn’t a thing I can fix or do to help. I’m 34 for years old, my friends aren’t supposed to be dying. She’s 31, a wife, a mother of a 4 year old, and the doctors report that sometime in the next 24 hours she will most likely pass away. She’ll never wake up again and that just sucks.

    The last time we spoke on the phone just a few days ago, our conversation was cut short because the battery in her cell phone ran out of juice.

    That’s what it feels like; like we had just gotten into the middle of a great talk and abruptly it was cut off. She was my partner in crime at work; we plotted the overthrow of PC domination; we taught a class together. We started SlanderousTongue.com as a way to spur each other to write more often.

    Just last September she, Amber, Michelle, and I all went to Las Vegas. In February they started to know that something was wrong. Despite two bone marrow tests and a slew of blood work they couldn’t figure out was was wrong with her. In April she was diagnosed with T-Cell Lymphoma; July 7th she finally turned on her ‘Out of Office’ notice at work; last week she was supposed to have a bone marrow transplant and now tomorrow most likely she will no longer be here with us and frankly I think it’s a pretty shitty deal (pardon my French).

    I hate stuff like this.

    I hate that we live in a broken world. I hate that tomorrow her husband (who is a good friend of mine) will be without a help mate. I hate that her son will grow up without a mom. I hate that bad things happen to good people. I hate that reality trumped my hope.

    I hurt for them and I hurt for me. I hurt for all the hurt that is in the world and the seeming unfairness of it all.

    I am reminded that no matter how long your life is, that it is simply too short. That somethings are more important. I am reminded that at any moment our ticket can be cashed and we have to be ready for what is next. That someone will have to clean up when I am gone. To quote my friend Mark (who was indeed quoting someone else), that ‘getting old is not for the faint of heart’.

    Don’t get me wrong; I live in a faith based world view. I know that God is in control; I know that He has a more perfect will that that I don’t understand. I know that it’s not my will be done, but His. It’s just sometimes I wish that God would realign His will to mine.

     
  • Naked… in a Purely Facial Hair Sort of Way

    So this is completely random and has nothing to do with anything (well it will eventually, watch as I masterfully weave my tale and then bring it back home with some real life application – I’m not sure how I’ll do that just yet, so I will be as shocked and surprised as you are), but I thought I would share it none the less.

    Yesterday I had to shave off my beard. Yeah, I know weird right (that’s part of the reason why I didn’t go to work for 2 days, I would have hated to freak out the folks at work). I look like I’m 15 without my facial scrub, like some kid too young to be leading a team at a University and certainly too young to be teaching a Grad class or to have a two boys 10 & 12.

    Plus my Michelle hates it. A lot. I mean like wouldn’t even look at me hates it.

    See every couple of years I get these dry patches of skin that I can’t get to because of the thick foliage that occupies a large portion of the surface area of my face. So off it goes. Apply some cream for a day or two and bingo, good for another 3 or 4 years.

    But here’s the really interesting part that. For the first time in about 4 years, my face was hair free. I mean totally. Then the freakiest thing happened; the AC kicked in. Shocking i know, but it totally freaked me. I felt a breeze. I mean actual air moving across the sensation of my skin. It was an on sensation because I was only keenly aware of it around my mouth and along my jawline. These pulsing waves of cool air and I was amazed.

    It didn’t end there, I had the day off yesterday and I went to take a nap (I know, that’s how you know when you are getting old). My wife had left a T-shirt on the couch and I went to smell it, and as I did it brushed again across my face. WHOLLY COW! The tactile nature of that soft cotton was fascinating. Then I became a man possessed. I picked up Flash (one of our cats) and rubbed my chin on his head (as he is so keen to do to me), I splashed water on my face both hot and cold anything I could get my chin on I experienced all the new (or rather forgotten) textures. My mind was open to a whole knew world.

    Okay, I admit, that last part was more serialized than reality, but you start to get the point. Most of you cannot relate to what that experience is like. You are so used to taking in those experiences that you’ve become accustomed to them. They have no newness to them, they are common place, they are every day. You take that base line knowledge for granted.

    As an educator, I sometimes have the tendency to do the same thing. For those of us in the technology field it’s even worse.

    Technology is my every day experience. I live it, breathe it, wallow in it in all areas of my life. From my computers at work, to my computers at home. Digital this, can HD that. TVs, personal media players, iPhones, Macs and PCs. I take it for granted; it just makes sense to. I forget that for some this is a whole new world.

    That was made painfully aware a few weeks ago when I was asked to do some computer training for our Operations staffers as they are moving online with their forms and their communications. One of the classes that I offered was basic computer skills. When I say basic, I mean basic. I began with an assumption that these were people who were at least familiar with what a computer was. You know what they say about assumptions – they make an ass out of you and umption. I had to go back to the beginning, the very beginning and teach people basic keyboard. How to make capital letters, mouse skills. The difference between clicking, double clicking and left and right clicking.

    Those frustrations aside tough, I had forgotten how wondrous computers and technology can be to those who have never experience their magic; that point when going to someplace like Google was new, and the idea that you could type in words and you could find out everything you were looking for them.

    Technology – it’s a cool thing. Like the air on my naked face. Wow, do I look like a baby.

     
  • Honda – 1, Dodge – 0

    Yeah Honda!Boo Stupid Drivers

    Well some stupid wench today was too busy on her cell phone to see that Michelle had been stopped waiting for two cars to pass before she could turn into the University (we car pool) and without breaking, she slammed into the back of the Accord.

    While the bumper split in the center and popped from the frame on the left hand side, we drove it home. The ditz in the Doge, not so lucky – she had to have her bleeding wreck hauled off in the wrecker. On the plus side, no major injuries. On the downside, now we have to get it repaired (we have $200 left on the loan… I hate stupid people).

     
  • Sunshine & the Storm Cloud (For Mélaine)

    For those of you in my praying community (and for those of you who don’t pray but are fans of Karma and positive thought energy), a dear friend and co-worker of mine is fighting through a rather nasty bit of cancer and will shortly be undergoing a bone marrow transplant in effort to secure a cure for that blight that has found itself lodged in her body.

    A few months back I wrote a short story for SlanderousTongue.com and shared it with her as a source of encouragement when the world seems gray. So as I sit here looking out at the pouring rain and praying for her upcoming procedure, I thought I would share that small snippet of her story that so that you might include her in your prayers and positive thoughts. In exchange, I’ll share a little bit of my encouragement with you in hopes that you might find something in there for yourself as well.

    It has a title that still needs work, and this is simply a rough draft, but enjoy none the less.

    ————————————————————————————–

    The sky outside was a listless grey… and wet; drenched in fact. It was as if the entire whole of the world’s rooftop were drowning in water. That coalesced moisture, cold and overflowing, was spilling down onto the upturned ground saturating it like a soiled dish cloth.

    “What a horrible, muddy, grey, dreary, cheerless,” the girl stopped a moment to wring her brain out for another slew of synonyms, “blah, depressing, humdrum day.” She tried to smile at her clear mastery of “the adjective,” but little could bring happiness on a day such as today.

    Though, upon closer consideration, it was really more than just today that was causing her such distress. A single day of sunless mirth could be endured; two or three could be overcome with some effort, but an entire week? Surely in the whole history of the world, no one had ever had to suffer through seven long melancholy bleak days like she had. She didn’t wish to alarm anyone, but she was beginning to fear that the color would be stolen from the earth for forever. Read the rest of this entry »