2008: A Better “Me” Through “You”

An article by Don Quixote    No Comments

If you’ve been tracking my entries in 2008, you will have noticed a distinct lack of any mention of resolutions and promises to do things that most likely I will have already messed up. This year I’ve decided that I’m taking a different approach to things.

As I look around my life, I realize how truly blessed I am. It’s more than the fact that I am employed, that I have a roof over my head, a way to get to and from places, two awesome boys, an amazing wife and enough technology to choke several camels. The more I reflect on my circumstances, the more firmly I am convinced that my real success is measured by those people around whom I consider my dear friends.

If you’ve met me at all, or even read any of my writings you’ll know what a tremendous dork I am. I’m a nerd, a goof ball, and often times way too full of myself for my own good. I can be callous, a jack ass, thoughtless, self-centered, and a tad-bit short sighted. Yet as I gaze the circle of my landscape, I am overwhelmed at the bright stars I see surrounding me. There are people in my life, who know all those things about me and more, and despite my best efforts they are still there (though I might argue that some there because they work with me and have little choice in the matter). They humor me by laughing at my often flat jokes, they take one for the team and stop by these very pages just so I think someone is reading these things. They go along with my hair brained ideas, and willing show up when my flighty side rears its ugly head and tosses something together at the last minute. These amazing spirits are my friends, and I am who I am because of their footprints on my heart and mind.

I want to be a better “me”. I want to be more honest, more loving, more thoughtful, more loyal, more open minded, more globally aware, more healthy, more determined, more focused, more giving, more carefree, and most important, more deserving of the friendships that I so enjoy. But I know that I cannot be those things by myself. I realize that to be a better “me”, I need “you”.

That’s a hard thing for me to admit. I struggle with needing people. I don’t want to. I don’t want to rely or count on anyone else for anything. People will let you down, they’ll break your heart, they’ll hurt you. They’ll take any dirt they have on you and throw it in your face. They’ll reject you. If I can keep myself for needing anyone, then I can protect myself from all those things. If I can do things on my own strength, my own talents, then I never have to share, I never have to expose my true self, I never have to fear or hope or want. I’ll never have to admit that I am weak, flawed, broken, and incomplete.

Inside I know that I am…. weak, flawed, broken and incomplete.

To be whole, I need “you”. You contain my missing pieces. You have the tools to mend those things that are broken inside. If I want to be complete, I need “you”. And think I’m okay with that… or at least I’m working on becoming okay with that. So with that in knowledge as my basis for action, I have put my mind to the task of looking at those around me to see those things in them that I can learn from to improve who I am inside. I want to distill all that is good in “you” and drink it in. By focusing on your light, I won’t see the dark. I won’t stumble on anything that might drive me nuts, but I’ll see you in a new way. My perspective will have changed, my outlook more positive.

And then when I can see you in the best light, I can begin to see others around me, strangers in a new way. I can train myself to see the good in everyone and not cling to the imperfect. If you can see the good, then you can develop it, bring it out, grow it, foster it, and in the end, the world will be better off for the efforts.

Because I am learning from you, when I stumble, I know who I can look to for strength, I won’t be alone since you’re there, and you’re already a success at it. I will have the encouragement I need to finish the race ahead.

“The greatest good you can do for another is not just share your riches, but to reveal to him, his own.”
-Benjamin Disraeli

I think this YouTube video by Tim Hawkins captures the true spirit of friendship

“I’d like to be the sort of friend that you have been to me. I’d like to be the help that you’ve been always glad to be; I’d like to mean as much to you each minute of the day, as you have meant, old friend of mine, to me along the way.”
- Edgar A. Guest