Family

An article by Don Quixote    2 Comments

Family.

It’s an interesting concept. Today someone commented that it was “sad” that I didn’t want to be with my family during the holiday season. The “sad” thing is that wasn’t what I said at all. What I said (and feel free to read along with me) is that I loved my family, but I hated “family gatherings.” Family gatherings and wanting to be with my family are two completely different things.

I’ve had a life time of traumatic “family gatherings.” My father came for a large family (he was the youngest of 10 kids), my ex-wife came for a large family, I have friends with large families. I’ve been to events of all shapes and sizes. I have no doubt that the families I’ve been exposed to love each other (though sometimes in their own twisted way) and that they’re having a good time, but an outsider sees something different. I see the arguments breaking out, I see the childhood rivalries reignited, the fighting, the gossip and all the drama. I see relatives and distant cousins. I see chaos. I see conflict. I see stress. Not my idea of a good time.

I love my mom and dad. I love my sisters. I even love their children (everyone loves Uncle Bobby), though in a different fashion. But for the most part people extending beyond my parents and siblings are just my relatives. My connection to them is by bloodlines and marriage, but that fact doesn’t make them my family.

Dafyd & Jace, those guys are my family. Michelle, she is my family. Kara will always be apart of my family as the mother of our children and a good friend.

But my family doesn’t stop there.

Nathan Prong is my family. He’s the truest brother I’ve ever known. Tom Flammer is my family. Brandon Caroland is my family (more like a crazy 2nd cousin who gets drunk at the family reunion). Bobby & Stephanie are my family. Joel & Jarrod, Brain, Mark, Gordon and all my gaming groups are my family.

My old youth group kids are my family – The Harris Brothers (I’ll claim all three), Justin, Rachel and the rest of the crew. Shane Hargrave, Matt Krill, Scotty Johnson and a host of other people are closer to me than any relative will ever be.

I love my family and I’d do anything for anyone of one at the drop of a hat. As a Christian I have a different concept of family, but that shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone of you as the speech of above has already been given by Christ himself.

I like to spend time with my parents around the holidays. I love chatting with my sisters. I love buying the boys presents.

I love the traditions that I have brought from my family to children and friends. For as long as I live I will have Spaghetti on Christmas Eve. You’ll be allowed to open family presents on Christmas eve. One present will always remain unwrapped on Christmas Day. Lions football will be watched on Thanks Giving.

I work too on creating new traditions that are of our making.

Holidays are about family.

But that doesn’t mean 5 hours crammed in a small house with too many cooks in the kitchen or spending it with people who only drive you nuts but because they share the same gene pool as you or they married your sister so you have to is the best way to go about spending that time. It’s about letting those you love know that you love them.

So to family and my friends who count as family, happy holidays. My home is always open to you and the board games are always waiting to be played. (And does anyone have a 12 foot ladder I can borrow this weekend?)

But to each his own. You send cards and drink eggnog all you want.