Age old question…

My buddy Joel sent this to me:

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

GEORGE W BUSH — We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road.
We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The
chicken is either against us or for us. There is no middle ground here.

JOHN KERRY– Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now
against allowing the chicken back to the other side, unless our
international allies agree to escort it.

RALPH NADER — The chicken’s habitat on the other side of the road had been
polluted by unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the
unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by
the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

RUSH LIMBAUGH — I don’t know why the chicken crossed the road, but I’ll bet
it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I’ll bet that
somebody out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with
crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can
real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax
dollars. And when I say tax dollars, I’m talking about your money, money the
government took from you to build a road for chickens to cross.

MARTHA STEWART — No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was
going. I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when
the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
information.

JERRY FALWELL — Because the chicken was gay – isn’t it obvious? Can’t you
people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to
the “other side.” That’s what they call it – the other side.
Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will
become gay too. I say we Boycott all chickens until we sort out this
abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless
phrases like “the other side.”

BARBARA WALTERS — Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story
of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish
its life long dream of crossing the road.

SIGMUND FREUD — The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken
crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES — We have just created eChicken2004, which will not only cross
roads, but will lay eggs, email your important documents, and balance your
checkbook, and Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN — Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road
move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON — I did not cross the road with THAT chicken.

AL GORE — I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS — Did I miss one…