Even the Devil needs a friend

An article by Don Quixote    1 Comment

Jim Maclachlan wrote, “Dialogue is the oxygen of change.” I believe this to be whole heartedly true. Without the open discussion of ideas, we find ourselves in an intellectual vacuum devoid of any outside influence; the fires of our thinking are snuffed out without the needed fuel to keep them burning.

The keyword in all of that is “dialogue”, from the Greek: dialogos, meaning conversation. We don’t talk enough as people or Christians any more, or perhaps the problem is that we don’t listen either. We don’t like it when people disagree with us, challenge our positions, our ideals. It puts us on the defensive, we close our ears, we open our mouths.
To avoid such unpleasantness we surround ourselves with those who are like minded, our “yes” men who will agree with every word we spout from our mouths. We stop thinking about what it is that we believe and why we believe it. It becomes wrote, an automated response that falls from our tongue without a second thought.

When we are approached by anyone who would *dare* challenge us, we breakout our full arsenal and lunch all barrels. We don’t take the time to listen to what is being said, we only recognize that it doesn’t sound like what we remember hearing. If the words aren’t the same, said in the same way, then they must be wrong and we attack. We don’t listen any more, we don’t try to process or understand. We gather those around us who will tell us what “our itching ears want to hear”. Where is the dialogue?

Many of us are content to leave all speech at the level of a monolog (much like my mono-blog). Where we really don’t care what anyone else has to say, only that we are heard. Those are our two speed settings: Mono & Argue, we missed Dia somewhere. If we are ever to grow, if we are ever to change, we must open ourselves up to the discussion of our thoughts, ideas and beliefs with others who do not see the world as we see it.

There are some who masquerade as wanting to dialogue, but what they really want to do is talk you into agreeing with them. When we sit down to talk, we have to come with open eyes, ears, and heart. Our mouths should be closed. We need to listen, to ask questions, to understand. You believe this? Great, why? What makes you think that way, help me to understand, because by understanding I can grow, by growing I can be a better person. We will have the fuel to fan into flames a great change in ourselves and in the world around us.

Dialogue is the oxygen of change.

I love discussion, but I hate arguments. I hate stupid people arguing in circles one never listening to the other. The back and forth, round and round, in one ear and out the other. Small minded, hateful, prideful, useless.

Discussion is the greater art form. It is two minds of differencing opinions dance back and forth on the intellectual stage, using counter points to balance the steps and in the end between the two the create something beautiful. There is give. There is take. There is first and foremost respect for the people involved. While all are confident in their position, they are open to the possibility that they might be wrong in some part, that perhaps they do not see the whole as another might, that perhaps together they can build a broader picture than the one they can paint on their own.

But in order for a discussion to take place, their must be differing ideas present. Something beyond your own that will make you question your thoughts, your ideas, your beliefs. Not to say that the ones you hold are wrong per say, but something to make you double check, to confirm, to polish and take a second look.

Challenge yourself this week with new ideas. Ideas that you don’t agree with, listen to them, don’t just dismiss them off hand, see if there is some validity to what it is they have to say. If nothing else, leave with an understanding (though not agreement) of why they believe and think the way the think. In doing so, you will grow, you will change and in the end, you will be better off for it.

Everyone needs an advocate, even the devil needs a friend.