A little bit of this, a little bit of that

Hello, my name is Bob Soulliere and I’m reporting for duty.

(Insert applause)

Yeah, it didn’t work for John Kerry either. Oh well.

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My head is swimming with a hundred different things that I want to write about. I find the more I write the easier the words become. My fingers sometimes plunk the keyboard before I even have a chance to try and catch the thought before it flows from my subconscience mind. The hardest part is picking just one thing and writing about it. I had considered telling you about “The Flight of the Volkswagon”, but that will have to be another day. It crossed my mind to talk about Settlers of Catan (I can’t get enough of that wonderful Duff…), I had even considered discussing how men can be menstral, sometimes on their own, sometimes in sympathy, but that didn’t seem like the right time of the month to do that either.

So perhaps I thought I’d just ramble on, typing whatever came into my head, but to be honest, sometimes that can be a little scary. I could always discuss my Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia, but that would be kinda redundant.

As I floundered around in the pool of my thoughts (okay, it’s more of a wading pool, but if I wear floaties I’m okay), I was struck by the thought that perhaps I was only fooling myself. Perhaps I really had nothing to say at all.

Nah, that couldn’t be true, because if it was, well then why would I be wasting all this space typing. I mean really. Words are showing up on the screen, surely they must mean something, there must be some little nugget of truth in there that folks to pull out and take home. Yet as I read over what I had written, I hadn’t really said anything at all. It was kinda funny, but more in the lame llama sort of way. Well, enough of that, it was time to get serious and write something of earth shattering profound importance.

Still nothing. So it looks like I’m just going to have to tell you a little about myself. To the right is a shot of my desk. It’s my home away from home inside my home. All around my desk you’ll notice a red and black clad figure, his name is Spawn (the lad pictured at the top of the blog). I’ve always been a fan of Spawn, I frankly just think that it looks so stinking cool. I have some of the comic books (oh yeah, he’s comic book guy), I have the movie as well as the animated series that was on HBO for a while, and I have a ton of the Spawn toys (well, the ones that look good anyways). So who is Spawn? Well, he’s an assassin who sold his soul to the devil to come back to life.

Sounds like an all around good guy right? Well, here’s the deal. Al Simmons used to be an assassin. He was killed by his co-worker and friend, burned in a fire. He wasn’t an evil man, I mean killing for the government was just his job. After his death he woke up in Hell (hey people, come on, killing is BAD) and found himself in a position to be recruited by Satan to go back to earth and do more killing. Well, Al wasn’t totally keen on the idea, but he loved his wife Wanda and wanted to go back in be with her (hopeless romantic and assassin, a catch for any lady). So he made deal.

Now you and I know better, never make a deal with Satan. Time and time again we are taught that lesson, from the song The Devil Went Down to Georgia, to that one movie with Brendon Fraizer in it, if you make a deal with the Devil, you’re gonna get screwed. Al (aka Spawn) was no different. He bacme back to earth, and he certainly had cool powers, however, there were a few problems. He’s face was all burned (he had been killed in a fire after all). Well, no big deal, his wife will still love him. Oh wait, did I (Satan) forget to mention that it’s now years later and your wife is remarried… TO YOUR BEST FRIEND (not the same guy who toasted him). Oh, and remember how you couldn’t have kids, guess what, the problem was you! Yep, Wifey and Friend make 3. So Al was a little pissed off and decided that he was going to use his powers to fight Satan, putting him at war with Hell. And as if the guy didn’t have it bad enough, Heaven wants him destoryed because he’s working for Satan (or so they believe). Caught between heaven and hell, is wife is married to another and his face looks like road pizza, man if I had a dollar for everytime I found myself in that situation…

So Spawn is an unlikely hero and that’s an idea that I can relate to.

And there you have. Something you didn’t know about Bob.

That’s it. That’s all you get today.

Go.

Go away. Read someone else’s blog now.

Leave.

Fine, next time I’ll tell you the story of “The Flight of the Volkswagon”. Happy now? Man, there’s no pleasing the public.

P.S. – Here’s a cool little trick. If you ever want to go back to the old gray look, you can get there by going here:

http://www.ifoundbob.com/?template=lines

Kinda fun. Look for more template themes coming soon, with our new motto, “My Blog, your way. We’re like Burger King, but without the fries.”